DEC. 30, 2025 + #meme #hikikomori #jirai #mysophobia
命 格 孤 煞
FATE IS SOLITARY
DEC. 28, 2025 + #jirai #ocd
not diagnosed but pretty sure lol
(Un)happy End World
DEC. 28, 2025 + #nso #jirai
this is my favorite nso ending bc it's actually pretty accurate for those who are mentally ill...... life can be absolutely perfect but bc you're mentally ill, you'll never be happy like you "should" be
DEC. 26, 2025 + #meme
DEC. 26, 2025 + #meme #asexual
raunchy jokes amuse me idk
SEX
DEC. 18, 2025 + #meme #jirai
JUL. 31, 2025 + #notebook
dimension jumping story concept
the main characters (close friends) can portal to different worlds/dimensions.
there's one world they like to portal to thats their "safe space," it's a jungle/forest world that is very peaceful and filled with nature. they often train and relax in this world, and they can also shapeshift here into birds so they can fly through the treetops and up the mountain.
however, one day, they portal to this world, and they go to their usual spots to hang out. they split up because one character says they want to go up the mountain really quick for something, and the other character says they'll go and wait at their usual hangout spot.
as they're passing by to go to their usual hangout spot, however, they think they notice a figure dart at the corners of their eyes.
they think their eyes must be tricking them, so they continue on.
however, they soon notice something odd-looking before they get to their place.
it's by the bushes, and it's a metallic looking object.
upon closer inspection, they read the words on the metal and realize it specifies the ingredients of a bomb.
the main character's heart immediately starts racing.
they quicken their pace to get to their place, but they notice other bombs placed nearby as well.
they run to get to their place, and sure enough, there's a bomb placed there.
they are terrified.
they immediately shapeshift into a bird and race up the mountaintop to find their partner.
their partner meets them halfway up, going down, and they both soon discover they've arrived at the same conclusion.
there's bombs placed in every corner in this world.
they go together to look for a place to wait out the bombs safely, but the bombs only seem to multiply. they can't really find anywhere that's not close to a bomb.
they eventually give up and settle on the inside of a tower, where there's a bomb on the floor below.
they have no way to portal back out of this world right now, as it's on cooldown. they just have to wait it out.
they huddle together and await their fate.
JUL. 23, 2025 + #notebook
for some reason i've been really fixated on the "pocky and hell" story concept from before so i added some ideas
You are a young firefighter who usually helps fight ordinary neighborhood fires.
You enjoy helping people in their times of most need.
For example, you remember helping these girl unexpectedly at a restaurant who passed out in front of the women’s restroom when you were still in training and you were off that day.
It was probably caused by the heat as it was a hot summer day (one of the hottest, above 100 degrees) and inside the restaurant the kitchen was open-style with the grill creating more heat.
You caught her as you open the restroom door and saw her falling.
You helped get more help and helped her get water as well.
It turns out she had not eaten that day and her blood sugar was probably low. You felt good that you were able to help her.
One day, some wacky fires are coming up from the forest on a neglected road.
When you report the fires, firefighters arrive at the scene, but when they get there, they say you’re crazy, and that there’s no fire.
You’re shocked as it seems no one else can perceive the fire and smoke billowing from the area.
You ask different people to confirm.
You go home to your humble apartment in a daze.
Were you actually hallucinating? It was way too real.
Your coworkers all seemed worried too, saying you should take the next day off as well to see a doctor.
You think about it all night and can’t sleep.
In your mind, there’s no way it wasn’t real.
The fire could be spreading, you think.
Maybe your eyesight was just extra sharp?
Even though you’re horrified at the idea of going there in the middle of the night, you need to go back to confirm.
You mull over the idea, trying to talk yourself out of it, saying that other people said they can’t see it so you must be crazy, but you can’t sleep, so you eventually get up and actually go there in the middle of the night.
You make sure to have your phone close and even bring along pepper spray and baking soda just in case.
Somehow, even though everyone else said you were crazy, you are convinced that fire was real.
When you go back, the fire is still burning, and seems to be expanding.
You’re dazed. What to do?
Will calling the fire station help this time?
Or will it be like last time and no one sees what you’re seeing?
You feel very uneasy.
What could this mean? Am I really just going insane?
There’s no logical explanation, it seems. What to do?
You decide you want to confirm something.
If it’s real, then you will be able to feel the heat as you get closer.
You can smell the smoke already.
Although this goes against every instinct in your body, which screams to get away, you decide to proceed and walk off the road down into the ravine that leads to the forest which appears to be on fire.
Forebodingly, the sign on the side of the road says “Do not enter: all who enter will be eaten.”
(The story proceeds with her finding the “hell” that the other story characters went to by mistake, and the protagonist gets tangled up in trying to save these ill-fated girls. Eventually the protagonist realizes this place is somewhat fantasy, and doesn't appear to everyone.)
JUL. 21, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
"i'm fucking insane"
JUL. 21, 2025 + #notebook
unhydrating water
JUL. 11, 2025 + #notebook
story concept about acrophobia
a girl begins a journey with a guild she joins because her friend is in it and wants to go, but little does she know it's a huge guild with over 500 people, and their journey winds up going all throughout a mountain, eventually crossing precarious passes with ziplines and at the end she has to use her bare hands to climb across the final stretch.
she's afraid of heights, and when she looks down she sees the base of the clouds below, and she feels nauseous, but she knows she's forced to keep going as it would be worse going back now, plus there's people waiting behind her.
she climbs across, her nerves rising as she wrestles to control her anxiety. the final stretch she can feel the bar shake as the people behind her also climb, and she gets even more nauseous as she feels her hands get sweaty and slippery.
she makes it across, waiting for a sense of relief to be on solid ground, but then she sees with horror that everyone is just lining up on the bars, holding the bars and hanging.
she nervously voices her concern as a guide ushes them across from above, saying "hey i'm afraid of heights, and i don't know how much longer i can do this.." but the guide cuts her off and says "nope" and ushers her along to join the others.
the girl's anxiety rises even more, and she starts to panic internally.
she feels like she will fall and die any moment now, her hands are getting more slick.
suddenly, a male voice calls out to her, and she sees a guy watching her from above with the other guides.
"hey you, take a break for like 20 minutes and then come back," he says, pointing at her.
did she look really pale or something?
she blinked in surprise, feeling a little surreal... he was talking to her, right?
she wasted no time trying to get off the bar and to the high ground above where the guides were.
she flops on the ground, then flimsily moves herself over to a lonely spot along the wall, sitting with her knees propped up and putting her head back to breathe.
she closes her eyes, calming her nerves, thankful to be on the ground again.
JUL. 8, 2025 + #notebook
weird deconstruction horror story concept about pocky and hell, pt. 1 add-on
Starting from the previous day, it starts with the girl looking for a job.
It starts with the previous day where her mom drives her to a strip mall, where she applies for a job at a popular restaurant/diner.
She at first is excited, but then slowly dread starts to creep up as the diner staff immediately agree to hire her on the spot, and want her to start in an hour.
Also, she learns as the manager keeps talking that they want her to work washing dishes all the time in the back with an older lady who seems to be a druggie and rough around the edges.
They excitedly get her a uniform to change into and have her meet the staff.
They also tell her they will schedule her for every day, which she is horrified at, as she already has a full-time job and will have little to no free time if she works here—if she works here, almost all her precious free time will be spent washing dishes, which horrifies her.
She feels bad saying anything negative though, and the manager is very chatty.
Eventually, they let her go and tell her to come back in an hour to start her shift.
She nervously says bye and looks at her mom in horror, who is waiting outside for her.
The girl sighs nervously and says she doesn’t really want to work there and that she just wants to leave, and her mom huffs and says “up to you, girl.”
The girl feels guilty and conflicted, as now the diner staff will be expecting her.
She tells her mom she can leave without her, as she’ll think about it and get some boba tea at the strip mall, and she says, “home is close enough, right? I can probably walk back” and her mom says “suit yourself” and leaves.
The girl gets boba tea and walks around, looking in the shops.
She starts to feel angry.
After all, she never agreed to work there!
All she wanted to do was apply to see her options.
She has no obligation to work there!
She huffs and then decides she’s going to ditch.
She walks the way back home but then after awhile realizes she’s going the wrong direction and doesn’t recognize the path.
She nervously turns around and luckily finds her way back to the strip mall.
Prideful, she doesn't wasnt to call her mom for a ride back, as she said she could find her way back on her own.
So, she happens to see a friendly-looking older couple walking away from a food truck, and musters the courage to ask if she can catch a ride back to her place, explaining the situation shyly.
The older couple agrees in a very friendly way, and she gets in their car to go back home.
Apparently the couple had to go back to their home anyway to grab some more supplies/ingredients for the food truck.
She sighs in relief, glad she’ll be back home soon.
The couple arrive at their house and tell her to wait there as they’ll be right back, reassuring her that they’ll take her back after they grab their things.
She waits and plays on her phone.
The older couple returns and says they’ll drive her back, chatting happily with each other.
The girl relaxes, glad she’ll back home soon.
However, she starts to become confused as she notices that they are going back toward the strip mall.
The couple parks at the strip mall as the girl follows them out the car, confused.
Then, the older couple says goodbye and that it was nice to meet her, and goes back to their food truck.
It hits the girl that they completely forgot to drop her off at home and must have gotten confused thinking she wanted a ride to the strip mall?
She was very confused.
Was it just being old getting to their heads?
She awkwardly works up the courage to explain to the older lady that she needed to go to her home, not the strip mall.
The older lady seems confused but goes along with it.
She says sorry because the food truck still has about three to four hours to operate and do business, but she says that they can give her a ride to her house if she waits and hangs out at the strip mall for awhile.
The girl dreads this idea, as she’s already running low on cash from her boba tea and shopping earlier and she's already hung out for quite awhile here.
She also is very nervous that the diner staff will see her, as it’s already past the time she was supposed to show up for her shift.
She had already decided she’d never come back to this strip mall to avoid such an awkward confrontation, but here she was again in plain daylight.
She says thank you to the older woman politely then walks away, fuming at her current plight.
She decides to try to order an Uber as the last resort, checking the prices to make sure she can afford it.
Luckily, she can barely afford the cheapest ride home.
She realizes her phone battery is below 10%.
She’s nervous and turns down the brightness, but this makes it hard to see the screen in the daylight.
Frustrated at all these little inconveniences adding up, she manages to order an Uber and waits for a grueling 30 minutes, hiding in the shade of a tree and alert to avoiding being seen by any diner staff passing by.
When she finally gets in her Uber ride, the Uber driver is in a very good mood and is energetic, and asks her how she’s doing.
She sighs and says okay, politely, feigning a smile.
She looks out the window as she can no longer look at her phone and subconsciously notes down the correct way back home from here.
She vows to never return this way.
JUL. 7, 2025 + #notebook
weird deconstruction horror story concept about pocky and hell
A girl goes to a gym at a school in the city to apply for a job as an assistant, helping with classes each week.
At first they are confused, but then they get her application set up and one of the current assistants that's been working there for several years gives her a little tour and shows her how things work.
The girl expresses concern over the hours that she would need to work each week, because she has a full-time job as well, so she's worried about feeling overwhelmed and having no free time.
The assistant says it's really not that bad, it's usually a couple times a week, and it's flexible as well and everyone's really nice and chill.
She asks if the girl would want to help out with a class today in a little bit so she can get a feel for what it's like.
The girl agrees, and she's already in athletic clothing and the rest of her day is free since she had saved this time to apply for jobs so it works out smoothly.
The two walk and talk together along the street as they make their way down to where the class will be at the other campus.
The assistant complements the girl on her angel-winged socks, saying they're cute.
The girl laughs and says thanks, saying they're like Redbull and "give her wings to fly."
Suddenly, a car hits them, and the girl indeed goes flying to the side of the road.
The car doesn't stop though, and instead takes off faster.
The girls' clothes are disheveled and they're crying, and they help each other walk alongside the eerily empty road.
They come across a sign in front of a forest off the side of the road that says “do not enter; those who enter will be burned alive.”
The assistant thinks this is a good place to hide while they figure out what to do, as it's an obscure place.
She helps the girl enter, and they also shed their ruined clothes to help them hide.
Little to their knowledge, there's a human turned devil in this forest who is forced to eat the burned remains of those who enter, and a dragon whose sole purpose is to burn everything alive that isn't the devil.
It's not long before the dragon finds them and goes and burns the assistant first, who tumbles down the hill on fire.
The girl fights back against the dragon, refusing to give up.
However, the dragon has the advantage and leaves the girl burning and crying.
She cries for help, and the devil is the only one who can hear her nearby.
He first goes to the assistant and shakes her so she's not on fire, but the assistant tells him to go save the girl, saying she's the real one in danger since she was fighting the dragon.
The devil makes it over to the girl with the injured assistant following, and sees that only a pile of burned Pocky remains.
He realizes he's so hungry, and ravenously eats the Pocky, but stops himself to give the assistant some.
The assistant is crying, but gives up as she is also hungry and eats the Pocky.
They are then forced to remain inside the forest, both of them becoming devils.
Instead of relying on water to survive, they rely on sand, preparing baths of dirty sand and cooking with boiling sand.
The assistant thinks to herself that this story seems familiar, like a very old opera people have forgotten because of its obscurity.
JUN. 30, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
nobody fucking cares*
*so do it anyway
JUN. 30, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
"i want everyone to hate me"
"i want everyone to love me"
JUN. 30, 2025 + #notebook
love doesn't have to last forever, it just has to change you
JUN. 25, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
"yes i'm fucked up, what about it"
JUN. 18, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
we attract people with the same problems as us
ahegao but not sexual
JUN. 15, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
"it feels too good"
JUN. 13, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
i'm not sad enough yet
JUN. 11, 2025 + #notebook
making money from my misery
JUN. 7, 2025 + #notebook
sci-fi/horror concept ft. a weird bunny man
It begins with a sci-fi environment, almost seeming to be a spaceship with bulkheads and hatches.
The protagonist lives with their mother in one of the compartments.
The father is a man (or bunny man?) named “Mister,” he wears a white and red mariachi outfit and carries a sword.
He goes crazy one day and attacks everyone within sight, coldly and without emotion, almost as if he is possessed.
The mother panics and sends her child away, where they end up landing on Earth at a military training base.
The military finds the child and isn’t sure what to do with them, with no trace of the parents, so they end up raising the child, and the child naturally ends up joining the military since they become so accustomed to that environment.
They train with other recruits and form close-knit relationships.
One day, when training, they go for a field exercise as a group in a remote area.
The protagonist is sent alone as a scout and then comes back to the group later, only to find everyone dead, appearing to have been violently murdered (by “Mister”).
The protagonist is heartbroken and haunted by this, and they are sent to medical to “recover from the PTSD.”
The military can’t find any traces of why these people were killed, and during a field exercise.
At night, the protagonist is haunted by dreams of “Mister” speaking to her, even though she never met her father.
The scene cuts to the spaceship environment before and a hatch slowly opening, revealing the menacing “Mister,” killing everyone in his path ruthlessly.
He approaches the mother’s compartment as the mother cries, terrified, inside.
JUN. 6, 2025 + #notebook
imagine a garden courtyard within a gothic house painted jet black, pink roses blooming alongside red roses.
JUN. 6, 2025 + #notebook #sketchbook
jet black → "hide," introverted
pastel pink → delicate but independent
bright scarlet → unexpected, feisty
૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
MAY 21, 2025 + #jirai #notebook
just a "bunnygirl" going down another rabbit hole!
MAY 21, 2025 + #notebook
life is short, so i decided that i wanted to write stories.
i want to write stories to document the chronicles of life, stories that make you both cry and laugh because of how mundane they are.
i want to write stories that make you realize there's still more to see, experience in this world.
there's always another story.
life isn't as simple or as complicated as it seems.