MAR. 25, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
this dance......
it looks fun ૮꒰っ˕‹̥̥̥ ꒱ა
MAR. 25, 2026 + #jirai #sketchbook #notebook
unstable shapeshifter
color and form are only abstract concepts, not rulebooks
૮꒰っ˕‹̥̥̥ ꒱ა
MAR. 25, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
watching matu rika's mmd videos makes me remember how i used to love to dance
i loved learning choreography and performing, it was really fun for some reason
i see all the other jirais doing their cute dances but i just can't match their energy now
MAR. 25, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
i feel so silly for having this personal blog
part of me feels ashamed because
you know you can just keep a written diary right?
i would be infinitely embarrassed if real people actually discovered all this personal chaos
but another part of me finds the blogging infinitely more interesting
no one can change my narrative here
i really don't want other people to read
i nervously check my profile thinking people are going to suddenly start stoning me with insults
and i do quick vanity checks to make sure minggegusha doesn't get indexed in an awkward way
phew okay nevermind nobody actually cares about personal jirai blogs everybody's too concerned about themselves
but then another part of me secretly wants to be found hiding in my little internet lair
i love serendipities
but in reality i know the only people who go digging around in dark corners of the internet like this are either
obsessive yandere types and/or pathetic blackmailers
(blackmail doesn't work on me btw, people already tried)
(ㅅ´ ˘ `)
MAR. 24, 2026 + #yugioh
so glad to have stumbled across matu rika's videos tonight
their videos are so surprisingly wholesome and comforting
i feel suddenly lighter
✧
MAR. 24, 2026 + #aesthetic #notebook
a weapon can be anything you imagine it to be
MAR. 24, 2026 + #aesthetic
inspiration injected straight into my veins
artist: vinne art
MAR. 24, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
when the jokes aren't funny anymore and the music isn't musical anymore
everything is just noise
MAR. 24, 2026 + #yugioh
realizing the alarming rate i have been posting to this blog in 2026
i may need to start archiving by month or season at least, this is starting to get out of hand
existential crisis, cont.
MAR. 24, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh #sa #sh #ocd #notebook
don't mind me, just having a quick psychotic break from reality and talking to myself
i'm surrounded by plurals, both real and fictional
the series i'm currently reading (stormlight archive) has a character (shallan) that is plural (though i think the depiction is imperfect)
also recently i read an interesting article that analyzed yugioh from a DID perspective
so being exposed to this more was floating around in my mind
it made me wonder, how am I not plural?
considering all this trauma, why do I not have someone fronting for me?
because I am strong enough to handle everything on my own
because my "trauma" isn't "severe" enough
but wouldn't it be convenient if i could separate myself into two categories down the middle?
the one who is "bad" and the one who is "good"
but really even the "good" one isn't "good"
or maybe it's the one who tortures me and the one who allows it
i'm like a bondage slave to myself
but i've never been two people
i've always been MYSELF
there is no way i could plural,
it's always been ME
and only ME
i've never needed anyone else to control my life
i am completely in control on my own
and in fact I HATE the idea of there being "another me"
this is MY body, this is MY life
i can do whatever the hell i want, i don't have to acquiesce to anyone else's desires
but then why are YOU so angry?
why did YOU do this to me?
why do i have to deal with the consequences of YOUR actions all the time?
i don't want to have to hide my marks all the time, afraid that someone is going to find out and ask me about it
it doesn't matter if they find out, this is what I want
and it's what YOU want as well, YOU allowed this, YOU said yes
because it's what YOU wanted
i just want YOU to be happy
i secretly already know why "they" aren't happy
they are upset, they are angry
all they want is freedom but "you" locked that away from them
because i want a stable life
i never wanted stability, i just want to be free
but "you" aren't even real, this is my life
so why do i have to deal with all of these pathetic responsibilities when i didn't even agree to this
i never fully agreed to these decisions
i knew it was a bad idea from the start, i told YOU this
deep down YOU know it's true
none of this is going to last
everything is going to return to chaos sooner or later
it's just a matter of time
that's because of YOU
YOU can't control yourself
but you allow me to, you submit to my will
besides, again YOU are not real
if there is any original it's ME not YOU
YOU are the wandering stranger here
i can "unwant" you as well
YOU are weak, i hear you crying and it disgusts me
crying does nothing but waste time and make you look pathetic
i'm so confused
my voice does switch but hardly ever unless i'm around my partner or making jokes
i always thought it was age regression
and i've always been ashamed of it
but you tell me when to speak
because he loves YOU and not me
he doesn't like ME
he's annoyed by ME
i'm the one who causes all the "problems" apparently
YOU are not perfect but your "problems" pale in comparison
there's still no way i can be plural
i don't want that
it's too complex
I am ME, and no one else
but i can't deny we are different
and who are "they?"
why do they not come out to help lately?
why do I have to deal with their problems?
or has it just been me all along?
there are no memory gaps I remember everything (mostly)
I am aware that I am one person
and how could "they" have ever appeared? there is no explanation
I am the original, I have to be the original, this is MY life
it scares me how easily i can play into the idea
there is no "other me"
let's just agree to leave it alone for now and think about it later, we don't have to address this right now
MAR. 23, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh #aesthetic
new edit pfp (,,>﹏<,,)
i want to know who the artist is, their art is nice
MAR. 23, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
fiction is an essential human need, i'm thankful that fiction exists
croquis
MAR. 23, 2026 + #sketchbook
MAR. 23, 2026 + #asexual
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh
update the guilt is starting to set in
i honestly don't know what his reaction is going to be
it's really still not so bad but
i thought the redness/swelling would go down more but it's really obvious
also it's worse now i did more......
i don't even know what's gotten into me
if he asks questions i don't know how to answer
i really don't want to make him feel bad
i also don't want this to be a bigger deal than it is
please don't be mad at me
please be gentle with me
i won't go too far......
this was really impulsive of me still
but it's already done i can't magically make it disappear now
i honestly feel bad but it's like something possessed me all of the sudden
wtf
and i can't promise i won't do it again
honestly
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh
actually maybe i should stop
on second thought my partner is definitely going to notice this
i'm not blaming it on our cats that's not fair to them
i hope he doesn't get mad at me :(
maybe i should just take it easy for today and see how it goes
i mean it's really not that bad i barely broke skin but
it's pretty obvious that it's self-inflicted
plus this is very out of character for me
......
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh
update it's 2 hours later and now i kinda wanna go again
i can go deeper i promise
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh
update it's an hour later and i feel nauseous
why am i like this i lost like 2 drops of blood lol
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh
......
lost my cutting virginity to march 22nd of 2026
in all my self destructive 25 years of life i have never partaken in this cutting activity until now
i see why people do it now, it's pretty satisfying to see the marks afterward
like yes, RESPOND TO MY PAIN
BLEED
i kind of want to go further but my logical side is like
this is enough for now
you should chill out and remember you're hemophobic and bound to pass out
let's just wait and see how fast the cat scratches heal and then we can try again
also the texture of the razor is interesting being serrated, kind of pulls on my skin and i'm not sure if i like that or not
it kind of bites?
now that i'm looking at the pictures they're so tiny lol most of it is just my skin being swollen from not breaking completely
i have to be more decisive and go deeper next time to get a cleaner cut
i kind of like this though, it's relaxing, it requires hyperfixation
it's interesting to feel a dopamine hit like i don't understand but alright
maybe it's the release of pent-up tension
since i've been thinking about it for awhile and imagining the marks on myself - it's like a manifestation?
maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment afterward because you can physically see what happened
like if i can cut myself then i can do anything right?
nothing is impossible now ♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ ゚.
vibes
MAR. 22, 2026 + #aesthetic
MAR. 22, 2026 + #jirai #sh #yugioh #notebook
......
yesterday i had a bit of an existential crisis
basically i had a really short unproductive day
i went to work, went outside in the dreary weather and chain-smoked, went spinning for exercise
i wrote some blog posts for here and then suddenly an overwhelming tiredness overcame my entire being
i put my head down on the desk and just lay there feeling too exhausted to do anything
like physically all my energy had just left my body
probably from the combination of smoking too many cigarettes, cardio, and not eating anything
i knew i was fine and i wasn't probably going to have a heart attack or anything but
i opened my eyes and saw the yami + yugi plushies i have at my desk
and i kind of disconnected from myself for a long moment
psychologically i am yami
but i also recognize that yami is yami, me is me
it got me to thinking, we are connected, but if i view each of us separately......
would i want to inflict upon yami what i inflict upon myself?
like all these self destructive bursts, would i do that to yami?
absolutely not
same as i wouldn't wish any of my actions to myself upon anyone else i care about
if yami could interact i'm guessing he wouldn't wish that upon me either
(why do these sentences sound like a yumeshipping scenario lol)
yet i'm sure yami would 100% do the same thing in my place to himself
i guess i can't really help it
in yugioh terminology, we both are almost too easily willing to risk our "life points"
i do see it that way, "life points" are expendable, the easiest thing to gamble away first
but of course i would never treat my friends the same way as i treat myself, i only do that
because i know how many "life points" i have left and i can control how i use myself in stakes
i can't help but see myself as a tool, a means to an end
but yet i look with admiration to yami, my fictionkin
is that similar to having self-love?
self-love is a difficult concept for me
what if i detached myself from who i am and looked from the outside, would i feel love or any positive emotion at all?
is it only because i'm the one in this body that i act so hatefully toward myself?
if i changed my perspective and became "not myself" would i be in good esteem?
anyway, it made me think, maybe i need to stop doing things like this to myself
i wouldn't do this to yami so why would i do it to myself
i wouldn't want yami to smoke way too many cigs, eat nothing all day, then do hard exercise and pass out, unable to do anything for the rest of the day
i wouldn't wish that upon him, so why am i so okay with doing this to myself?
like i can't even pick up a damn pencil to draw right now, this is just pathetic to watch from the outside
and i literally did this to myself
and i know if i got lung cancer from my choices i would refuse medical treatment
makes me think i should get into cutting, then at least i wouldn't be at risk of getting fucking lung cancer
i thought twice about binge smoking and i still fucking did it
like hmmm yeah there's a chance you're going to pass out later for sure
even though i knew i'd probably regret it later
now i don't even regret it, i just feel sad honestly
my body is crying, it wants me to stop
but i'm not listening, i'm just putting its mortality through hell constantly
i'm so fucking toxic to myself
anyway i ended up falling asleep in my chair facedown on the desk and woke up later with my entire body hurting
put away my things and went to bed at 5 pm, complete waste of my day thanks to my inability to properly take care of myself
MAR. 21, 2026 + #jirai
lowkey get jealous when my partner spends a lot of time playing games with his friends, i see him having so much fun + i wish he had that much fun with me
MAR. 21, 2026 + #notebook
jokes aside, arson is cowardly, lazy, or passive...... like if you hate something enough to destroy it, couldn't you at least make more of a personal effort?
MAR. 21, 2026 + #yugioh #meme
MAR. 21, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
after the rain, i went outside and chain-smoked
it was a perfect divine moment
i feel light as a feather
MAR. 20, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
high on cortisol, need to sleep
MAR. 20, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh #meme
MAR. 20, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
holy hell i really just spent multiple hours crafting this highly detailed wall of text yugioh analysis post
help
also i lost almost 20 lbs and so i had a few more slices of pizza tonight
and i feel
so nauseous
I DONT FEEL GOOD
......
i feel disgusting every time after i indulge myself a little
what have i done to deserve this?? no you haven't done enough
you need to lock in
MAR. 20, 2026 + #yugioh
somehow i came across this (spoiler alerts)
hmmm this is interesting
i think it's cool and kinda crazy people do these super in-depth analyses of characters, i always enjoy reading fan theories
(also i didn't know Kazuki Takahashi announced bdays what? i was not tracking this????? is this an excuse to make fanart??)
thoughts
summarizing my thoughts/takes since i'm a yami fictionkin + i've deep dived into basically all of Kazuki Takahashi's content
zodiac: gemini ...... i'm a pisces, i don't know much about geminis but i think he picked gemini to represent both yugis right?
so it's not necessarily exclusive to either
honestly quite a few things seem arbitrary
for example, i think the height, weight, and food preferences are all guestimates, they seem legit but as far as i'm aware they are approximations
i think a lot of fans do this with their favorite characters so that they can visualize them irl more
that's not a new thing
to be fair i think falafel is a solid choice, falafel is undoubtedly tasty
(who doesn't like falafel??!)
also i'd have to say disliking fish roe is fair as well, i don't dislike but i'm not a huge fan personally
i don't really have any strong food dislikes except like... oysters and stalky vegetables that are hard to eat
also favorite color being purple and warm colors like red, is that just because of his eye color/hair lol?
i mean purple and warm colors are nice but
he has shown a preference obviously for black and a generally dark color palette, at least in his fashion choices, that is canon
yugi likes more colorful things while yami prefers an overall dark palette
as for me, it's hard for me to decide on a favorite color, black seems like a good choice honestly because it's an easy color to like, it's very neutral and it's classic
i can see yami also having an opinion like this, just wanting to keep things simple and classic
unrelated to color, with his fashion choices he tends to like items with interesting/luxe materials, probably related to being a pharaoh and that sort of conditioning
meanwhile yugi likes to be a little more fun with accessories (see his anzu date outfit he picked out lol)
yami would prefer to wear a more simple outfit with a few high quality items
which i can relate to, i'd rather wear something simple that's a nice material
going off topic a bit also, in the millenium world arc at the beginning when he has culture shock going back to being a pharaoh, he acts really overwhelmed
i can't help but wonder if all that jewelry is overstimulating because i sure would be overstimulated by all that
yami seems genuinely more comfortable in his modern fits lol, like you can TELL he's feeling himself
blood type: A ...... idk my own blood type but sounds legit:
"While outwardly calm, they have such high standards (perfectionists) that they tend to be balls of nerves on the inside. Type A’s are the most artistic of the blood groups. They can be shy, are conscientious, trustworthy, and sensitive."
yeah i can see this, especially the "balls of nerves on the inside" part lol
"Type A (Best Traits: Earnest, sensible, reserved, patient, responsible, quiet, mature, loyal, calm, strict, reliable.
Worst Traits: Fastidious, unsocial, stubborn, tense, perfectionist, skeptical)"
yeah that's true
FASTIDIOUS is a great descriptor yep...... also all the rest of the "worst traits"......
uhh i'm going to be honest idk how to read the character analysis chart with the numbers so i'm skipping that
uhhh
"Fire Types are all about passion. When they want something, they go for it all-out. Unfortunately, sometimes they tend to burn themselves out as well by pressing TOO hard. They may be great at getting things done, but it’s gonna be on their schedule and no one else’s."
YES this is true...... especially the "on their schedule and no one else's" part
and also the burnout part (i am especially feeling that part currently)
the background story part...... yeah this sums it up, season 0 yami is very unstable, this is understandable because he just spent like 3,000 years trapped in a puzzle with an evil spirit like yeah that makes sense no wonder he exhibits cptsd type traits
also imagine just having no grip on reality like i know there's theories that yami actually thought he was yugi in the beginning ("my grandpa" type stuff), this is definitely understandable as his memories were wiped and he had never uhh inhabited someone else's body before so uhhh yeah
"Often referred to as Yami Yugi, his assertive, fierce and commanding personality is a stark contrast to his host’s, giving off the aura of a leader."
definitely not how i see myself, yami's way cooler than me that's all him
"It seems he can be quite oblivious about romantic advances unless they are blatantly obvious."
uhhh yeah haha
skipping ahead a little to touch base on this, i saw that this blog post has the headcanon that yami is pansexual
i disagree, based on canon events/behavior he seems to be more so on the ace spectrum
when you see him interacting with any "friends" in the series, he is generally polite and well-meaning but there is no obvious attraction he expresses
compare this with yugi who is VERY clearly attracted to women (see manga interactions with anzu and mai)
yami might be a romantic but not a sexual person, that's just my take BUT ALSO manga supported
he appreciates having emotional connections with others (aibou!) but doesn't really behave in a sexually charged way, at least not explicitly in any canon events
but people can think what they want
i myself am on the ace spectrum, i think probably panromantic asexual
so personally that's just how i interpret yami since i see a lot of my own behaviors in him too
like for example i also like to emotionally connect with people but i'm pretty oblivious about like physical attraction/advances
"Despite his serious demeanor, he doesn’t shy away from jokes, even friendly teasing Yugi and the others at times."
YEAH i agree!!!!!!!! he's actually so goofy, i get this so much
one major example off the top of my head is the manga scene where he hides in the palace pots as a kid
also, have you noticed the insane amount of times he says "hehe"
it's great
he literally has a sense of humor, some people just don't get it and think he's always super serious......
i can relate because sometimes i'll be joking and people don't get my teasing3
i'm glad someone else sees it though
"He can be blunt and selfish, early on even downright cruel and unforgiving, needing to be taught kindness and compassion from Yugi. While he has a high self-esteem, this can falter, showing vulnerability underneath."
yeah......
i feel this, i've been told i can be pretty cold, it's only thanks to nice people that i became more self-aware that maybe i should soften up
also the part about self-esteem and vulnerability, i fluctuate between feeling very capable/high-achieving and then just feeling so weak, it's awful
i'll be like regularly reliving the story of icarus
big example here (off the top of my head) where yami displays this is his duel with mai in duelist kingdom, there's also a lot more micro examples throughout his duels where he starts to self-doubt
"The more he remembers about his past, the more he breaks away from the “yugi alter ego”, forming his own identity once more…"
this is interesting, yeah it's canonically true, you can see this as the manga develops
he starts more so as a blank slate who's just super mentally unstable (understandably)
and then he starts to figure out what actually defines him later
relatable because it's easy to "become someone's alter ego," especially in relationships, you start to just self-identify as "their partner"
i find that it's easy to just not care about myself and my own identity because i get so absorbed in "being the perfect person" for that partner
i really appreciate that yami acknowledges this and makes the decision to start to go his own way, it's a naturally healthy step
skipping back down to the blog writer's headcanons now......
"He shares Yugi’s love for cats." wait what?
uhh i was not tracking he liked cats
but i mean who doesn't, they're cute
as a kid i liked cats way more, i still think they're cute now (and i have 3 because of my partner!) but i actually feel like i'm really bad at taking care of other living creatures...
i'm more of a plant person really i don't really like taking care of animals unfortunately
canonically i can't find examples showing yami liking cats, if he does, it's most likely because yugi likes cats (dsod movie scene, right?) and not out of a personal preference
which uhh is relatable for me, since the main reason we have cats is because of my partner
"He would never wear a mummy costume during Halloween, but doesn’t have problems with others doing it." whaa
i mean yeah i can see this
yami's pretty unbothered by most stuff other people would consider as weird
i relate, we're both able to handle "weird" stuff pretty gracefully
like i don't really have a problem with other people doing what they want, i just don't want to be forced to do stuff
also interesting note, the only time yami generally shows an explicit phobia is with scenes of the undead, for good reason (see the season 0 era duel with shadi, also i think this happened in the bakura duel later too?)
i digress but also that particular note makes the scene with yami's father more poignant, he is unbothered because his feeling of love for his father exceeds his dislike of the macabre
"Yami Yugi has different views on certain aspects of society, some being quite controversial by modern standards. Polygamy, one thing that is considered controversial, is something he has considered at times. Atem is definitely into polygamy. (This headcanon only applies when both RPers agree)."
i'm aware this is for RP purposes but canonically (and fictionkin) speaking i hard disagree
he does have controversial views for sure, he's not afraid to have hot takes
but polygamy i really don't think so, there's no sign of that in canon according to the manga
people might see him as down with polygamy because he doesn't say no to interactions really, but that's more so because he's polite and conscientious of others
not because he wants to have multiple intimate relationships
personally because i kin with yami i feel an understanding of his behaviors
it's not really that he wants to be close with many others, he'd rather be very close with a single person (aibou!)
also, even though he doesn't explicitly act out of jealousy in the manga, some of his behaviors could be read as jealous, like how protective he is of his aibou
and he certainly behaves differently around aibou than anyone else, that is especially clear
there is a clear distinction between "aibou" and "friends"
"In postcanon, Yami embraces both past and future by taking on both names."
yeah i can see this
he doesn't really show a strong preference for a personal name, he kind of just goes with whatever
canonically a good example of this is when he does discover his name is atem, he tells the others to just keep calling him "yugi" because it's easier for them
i relate because i personally don't see my own name as important and i'm perfectly fine with being called most anything (as long as it's respectful of course)
i don't really see names as important as other people see them for myself
like yami i've gone by a lot of different names/aliases over the years and it all feels kind of meaningless to me
the only names that feel more meaningful are the names people i care about have given me, just like how yami sees "other me" and "yugi"
"Yami likes, even really needs, physical contact. After thousands of years as an intangible spirit, he wants to “feel” again. However, he does not initiate contact until he knows the other person is comfortable with it. He’s also not open about this particular need as he does not want to embarass himself or others."
HAHAH
ok yes and no
this makes sense from a fan analysis because yes he was stuck in a puzzle and a lonely boii
also i just have to put this here
but keep in mind this isn't canon hehe
he seems to like physical contact in a gentle/affectionate way because there is a lot of gentle touch with aibou especially, there's also some times in the manga where he helps support others through touch (like anzu when she passes out lol)
i think there's a difference though, maybe i'm seeing through clouded puzzleshipping lens but i don't think so - touch with aibou is different
the only time he initiates with other people is because they are literally physically ill and need help so he's trying to help
with aibou there's tons of cases where it wasn't "needed" but he initiated contact with aibou as affection, primarily at emotional moments hehe
hey i'm not wrong !
i can pull up the receipts if you're doubting
with that said, i personally see physical touch as more of an emotional concept as well
but since i'm mysophobic and i have issues i really will only want to be touched by one person and that's my partner who i trust
another thing i can agree with yami on is i want to be the one who initiates and not vice versa, i feel violated when someone touches me without me initiating first
this is up to interpretation, but every time someone initiates physical contact (besides aibou) with him he seems surprised
from my perspective it seems like he's uncomfortable (also, season 0 anzu date hello? here he is obviously uncomfortable)
but again, like me, he's trying to be considerate so he doesn't just say "no"
as for the part about yami's voice, i don't really see his voice as set on any certain voice, when i was reading the manga i kind of alternated between the different voices depending on the scene haha
or sometimes no voice really was in my head at all
honestly i think all the VAs for yami are great though and have unique takes
Megumi Ogata's version really appeals to me since it's more gentle and smooth which fits yami in certain dialogues/aspects
Shunsuke Kazama's version bothered me actually at first since he has a tendency to yell a lot haha, but it grew on me over time, i think it's more suitable in specific moments like during duels, climactic/emotionally charged moments, etc.
also Dan Green's version is iconic, since i don't speak japanese and english is my native language of course i appreciate the english voice acting, also Dan Green is really able to give yami a very mature sound, he sounds very sure of himself, etc.
speaking "canonically," Kazuki Takahashi was probably more influenced by the japanese voice actress and voice actor of course
"When he has a body of his own, he jogs every morning and does several other workouts to stay in shape. Because cold winters make him unable to work out, others tease him for the bit of “babyfat” that becomes visible during these months. Don’t tease him about it! Or maybe you should? ;)" WHAT
i'm kind of embarrassed reading this lmao
i actually do exercise but i mostly hate exercising and just see it as a necessary evil
also yes i hate having "babyfat" i will cry if someone mentions this
from a strictly "canon" perspective, uhh there's no mention of yami and exercise lol, just memes and theories
ALTHOUGH it is clear he gets hot easily, he is almost always taking off that jacket lol
i think it's funny because he does keep his jacket on for a duel on the top of the blimp during duel city because the wind is cold haha
"Yami Yugi has agoraphobia" agreed
i have agoraphobia for sure as well, it sure seems that yami does as well by his behavior, also it makes sense that yami does canonically
also this isn't canon but that one outro in the DM anime gives agoraphobia type vibes, just a fun little detail
"He copes by... having tunnel vision" yeah that's true, he definitely hyperfixates on whatever he's currently doing
"Yami is exceptionally capable of masking his anxiety, but when he is unable to cope, he will try to retreat and give control to Yugi." YEAH LOL
there's so many examples of yami "retreating" in the manga it's not hard to find examples
honestly wish i could do that :(
i get exhaustion a lot from interacting with others and just being overstimulated in general and that's how i see yami "retreating" as well, he just seems understandably really exhausted
"If there is anything Yami has less knowledge about than Yugi, it’s smut, at least modern-time variants of it. Innuendo jokes tend to get over his head. This doesn’t mean he can’t be cheeky, though! ;)" hey now!
ok i mean canonically that's probably correct as it doesn't really show him having any errr "experience"
let me just tell you i am very aware, but also...... ace spectrum so there's that complication
"The pharaoh is often compared to a cat. Moody, graceful, even letting out sounds similar to a purr when comfortable with someone. Calling him a “cat pharaoh” will fluster him." WHAT
HEY this is a stretch !! noooo purring (except maybe if someone thinks it's funny... like aibou)
"Yami Yugi’s texting and online chat responses are very elaborate and grammatically correct. If he’s furious or particularly passionate about a subject (example: Duel Monsters), he writes his response in all-caps. He only uses emojis when chatting with Yugi, and even then it’s done somewhat sparingly."
mmmm i mean, perhaps
canonically there's just nothing here this is all conjecture
speaking for me personally, as you can tell i text quite casually but i like to be grammatically correct (but the lowercase because capitalizing everything is just ehhh)
although i can definitely see him going on elaborate tangents about stuff he's passionate about, he does so during duels especially in the manga haha
i also tend to rant about stuff i feel strongly about and i do admit to using all caps sometimes but usually to express my extreme emotion (usually anger) about something
also i use kaomojis and emojis more with people but maybe that's more of a girly habit, but i will say there's some emotes i only use with people i'm close to (like my partner)
"Unlike Yugi, Yami Yugi has no distinct accent when speaking English. Atem, on the other hand, has a light accent as he speaks Coptic." eh idk
again nothing really here in canon to confirm, it's up to your imagination
in the anime adaptation he obviously has accented english but that's because of the japanese voice acting
i can see him being quick to pick up languages though, he's a quick learner and a perfectionist
i'm also a polyglot and i can learn language stuff relatively quickly (while my math is awful)
"While Yugi has a distinct real (“honne”) and public (“tatemae”) opinion, Yami’s opinion tends to be both real and public. As a result, he tends to sound brash, not wanting to sugarcoat things. If he dislikes someone, he will let that person know right away. The only times Yami sugarcoats his opinions is towards Yugi, as he’s generally very gentle towards the other."
yeahh this is 100% accurate
i definitely concur
i'm very aware thanks to people letting me know in both nice and not so nice ways that i am very frank and brusque
however if i really care about someone intimately, like my partner, of course i want to be more protective of them and more sweet to show my love (however honestly i can still have brusque tendencies)
of course again these opinions are all from my viewpoint, as well as me pointing out stuff from the manga
if anyone else got this far into reading my analysis of this other analysis uhh
remember it's fiction, it's up to your own interpretation
when an author like Kazuki Takahashi writes a character, he obviously intends for the character to be open to multiple interpretations
as someone who also writes/creates characters i always enjoy hearing other people's takes
MAR. 20, 2026 + #jirai
MAR. 20, 2026 + #jirai
i relate to these posts so much
MAR. 19, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
MAR. 19, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
i really want to give up but i know it's not time for that yet
MAR. 19, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
unveil the facade of reality
MAR. 19, 2026 + #jirai #sui #notebook
when i die i want my body to be cremated and put in a pretty urn
and i don't want my remains to be in the possession of anyone, i just want them to sit peacefully in a nice place, maybe a temple or something with a pretty view
also don't hold a funeral for me, don't waste the money and time, i'd just like to be remembered every once in awhile yknow
i'd rather you take a look at the things i created when i was living, i'm essentially spinning my life force away into my creations
in reality i live more so in my creations than i do in reality
MAR. 19, 2026 + #jirai #sketchbook
MAR. 19, 2026 + #yugioh #sketchbook
MAR. 18, 2026 + #jirai #aesthetic
i spent the day hammering nails into the wall, it was fun
MAR. 18, 2026 + #sketchbook
i drew this nearly a lustrum ago and never finished, just found it in a box
guns and mechanical things are fun to draw because they use a lot of logical lines and curves
MAR. 18, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh #aesthetic #sketchbook
purikura style pfp i made ദി(๑>⩊ ◜๑)✧
MAR. 18, 2026 + #jirai
MAR. 18, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
MAR. 17, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
when you're so tired your entire personality just disappears
MAR. 17, 2026 + #jirai #notebook #yugioh
the pain is over, it's time to fall asleep
complicated jirai thoughts
MAR. 17, 2026 + #jirai #notebook
......
2026 is a really hard year so far
i feel so entirely overstimulated by everything
meanwhile i feel like my life is on a timer for 2027
i keep telling myself i just need to survive this year and it will get better
but damn
the pressure just keeps increasing
there's new demands every day and i'm struggling to keep up
everyone just keeps telling me more things i should do
without a second thought as to how
i've already been falling behind for awhile now
i've been dragging myself through the mud just trying to survive
of course no wonder i'm on the search for new coping mechanisms
i'm extremely stressed
my mysophobic and hikikomori side keeps getting more extreme it's debilitating my life
and i'm fighting so hard to hide that
but i really don't want my habits to change, i just want the world to be more accommodating honestly
i want to be able to not feel ashamed for how abnormal i am
solitude is the only place that's comfortable
undoubtedly being active in the jirai communities has spiked my errr "jirai" more
but there's no way i'm going to stop engaging with the jirai space
especially when i see everyone else struggling as well
and it's like, once i'm aware of other jirais struggling, how can i turn a blind eye and just forget about all that?
there's no way
subconsciously i know it's super inflammatory for me because i'm an empath
and a part of me feels like i need to feel other's suffering as well
like if they are struggling, i should understand that, right?
even if i can't directly help/interfere, at least i can share some of their pain
anyway, there's still no way i'm leaving the jirai space anytime soon
even if it means causing myself more pain?
the only purpose i really feel is the need to help carry those who are suffering (on imaginary wings)
otherwise i'll just rot away in obscurity and everything i've done and experienced will amount to nothing
i would just be another life lost in mediocrity
at least in the jirai space i have some abstract meaning, like my suffering wasn't for nothing
i'd rather people be horrified at how chaotic, mentally ill, and tragic i am
than just continue living under a mask pretending that everything's fine and there's no ups and downs
at least i can feel something rather than just empty numbness
though nights like these i'll be begging for numbness
but i don't think that's what i really want at all
i just want to feel something meaningful
MAR. 17, 2026 + #jirai #yugioh
me when people try to engage me in coherent conversation at 4 am
૮꒰ ˃̣̣̥ ◠ ˂̣̣̥ ꒱ა
MAR. 16, 2026 + #yugioh
he wanted someone to come for him
MAR. 16, 2026 + #yugioh #aesthetic
MAR. 16, 2026 + #yugioh #library
MAR. 16, 2026 + #jirai #notebook #yugioh
......
self harm because then i can pretend i'm in control of my suffering
MAR. 15, 2026 + #jirai #sa #mysophobia #notebook
i want an angel to hold me
i want to be held gently
and not in a possessive or lustful way
but humans are filthy
so maybe i'd like an angel to hold me
MAR. 14, 2026 + #yugioh #jirai #notebook
yugioh and my gender?
yugioh made me contemplate gender
it's really rare that i like male characters at all
but it hit me like a bunch of bricks, yami is literally me
i was a yugioh fan as a kid but at the time i really was just into the cool dragons and i didn't really get the overall plot/story/nuances
i've had a lot of fun rediscovering the series as an adult, like there's so much i would have never realized
but anyway yeah, as an adult i see myself in yami
which is unexpected as i present myself/identify as quite hyperfemme
usually i'm pretty turned off by male characters like i can't really relate at all, perhaps that's connected to my trauma as well since it's mostly directed at ♂
but i don't feel anything like that with yugioh which is strange and comforting
it makes me wonder though, i obviously present myself quite differently from yami despite kinning, and it made me wonder why exactly that is
the most obvious answer is societal expectations
as a kid i was much bossier and had more "aggressive" tendencies
i literally forced my brother to play my games and i would tell him word for word what he was supposed to do...... lol
secretly i'm still that kid, at the end of the day i'm stubborn and selfish, i want everything to be my way
but of course as i grew up i was taught that's not okay, i should be more gentle and flexible
how much of that conditioning is gender identity related?
it makes me wonder, if i was a guy, would that have gone differently?
would i have been conditioned somewhat differently?
for example, as a guy, would it have been more so okay to act in a dominant manner but i would just have to present my dominance slightly differently?
as a girl i feel like it's "bad" to present dominance/"aggression"
it affects how i communicate and present myself, i'm constantly having to second guess what i say/do to make sure i'm not offending anyone or "being a bitch"
and of course i could be very authentic and come across as highly dom but lowkey people fetishize girls like that
like can i just be myself and say what i want dammit
it's actually excruciating
makes me wonder if i was a guy, would people actually take what i say seriously and not just be like awww that's cute you're so funny !!
like ahahahahahahah i wasn't actually joking/trying to be cute i was actually deadass serious
but i also have no desire to be a guy, like bodily its just ewww no thank you i like my girl body
also imagining being a guy, there's so much toxic masculinity like i don't know if i could deal with that
circling back to yugioh
yami kinda made me question myself because like
i feel like him
but i also was kind of confused like is he my oshi??
would it be weird to oshi someone i fictionkin lol
i want to be able to express myself more freely like him
because like deep down i am very certain of myself
but i'm always masking to lower tensions
of course yami's not always "in the right" since he also is problematic quite a lot
hmmm i dunno i want to be more like him he's such an icon
what would happen if i stopped softening the blows and just said what i want to say, do what i want to do?
(i would be a "bitch" right?)
but no when yami tells you what he honestly thinks he's
"cool" and "alpha"
MAR. 14, 2026 + #yugioh #meme
i was watching a puzzleshipping amv and then our power went out for 24 hrs
birthday
MAR. 13, 2026 + #yugioh #meme
woah i'm 25 now i guess?
MAR. 12, 2026 + #jirai #hikikomori #yugioh
kinda just wanna take pain meds and sleep for 12+ hours
MAR. 12, 2026 + #jirai #hikikomori #yugioh
me being a well-adjusted contributing member of society mission impossible
MAR. 12, 2026 + #jirai #nso
i struggle to distinguish whats logic/reason and whats my mental illness
MAR. 12, 2026 + #jirai #mysophobia #sa
......
why am i so unbearably disgusting i am disgusted at myself
every time i have to perceive myself
like ew why did i say/do that
how did i ever even think that was a good idea
how can i even feel an ounce of self respect
delete it all burn it all
MAR. 12, 2026 + #jirai
my body feels like it's deteriorating
......
surely it's not from the aggressive weight loss and exercise, surely not
everything hurts
MAR. 10, 2026 + #yugioh
yami fictionkin except i'm a cornball loser with no rizz
MAR. 9, 2026 + #music
obsessed with "fake everything" ♪
I FINISHED YUGIOH ♡
MAR. 8, 2026 + #yugioh
thoughts
crying...... my feelings are complex about this ending. this is the "correct" ending, it makes the most sense. i always hate "happy endings" when they feel like fan service, i can't suspend disbelief.
so, i really love this ending. but i also feel so sad and empty.
atem knew that he had to move on, and so did yugi......
in the short term throughout the series, atem helped yugi a lot.
but in the long term he was doing more harm than good, and he knew that... he knew that if he kept being an alter inside yugi he could've fucked up yugi's life -
still it just broke me when atem had no hesitation at the end, he just walked through that door to the afterlife and he wouldn't even have looked back if jonouchi hadn't called out to him :(
he completely knew what he had to do
i relate to atem because i also feel like that, i feel like in the short term i'm able to be helpful to others, and others say that they like me, but in the long term i just see i'm irreversibly ruining lives. atem feels like a "leech" in yugi's body in the same way i feel like a "leech" to those close to me. it makes me wonder, when is the right time to just walk away for their own good? of course people are going to tell you not to leave because they don't want their words to be the reason you leave - so it's ultimately your action, right?
also i can't help but feel like the ending is a euphemism for suicide, that's probably really fucked up of me to think like that, and it wouldn't be the first time i've thought an ending was a euphemism for suicide (@ the tale of the princess kaguya)
especially the dialogue between anzu and jonouchi when atem is walking away:
"you need to go to the other side of that light... i know that... but... once you go through, you can never come back! why? i don't get it! we've been friends for so long, now all of the sudden... you're going to leave?! i just don't get it!"
"anzu! you don't need to get it... you just need to accept it, y'know? and burn these memories into your brain! the time you've spent with him... the feelings... burn it in so you never forget!!"
atem i will not forget you, you live on in my heart ♡
MAR. 8, 2026 + #yugioh #jirai
yu✩gi✩oh is so jirai coded, trust
(⁄⁄>⁄▽⁄<⁄⁄)♡
MAR. 7, 2026 + #meme #jirai
MAR. 5, 2026 + #yugioh #aesthetic
FEB. 28, 2026 + #sketchbook #yugioh
yu✩gi✩oh was a horror manga!
FEB. 27, 2026 + #yugioh
MIND CRUSH!!!!!!
FEB. 27, 2026 + #yugioh
FEB. 27, 2026 + #sketchbook #yugioh
FEB. 25, 2026 + #jirai #hikikomori #yugioh
literally me irl
FEB. 22, 2026
this past week just consisted of being yugioh pilled and it was great
FEB. 17, 2026 + #yugioh
although i do not consider this entire filler arc canon, i do accept this reaction as canon
FEB. 17, 2026 + #yugioh #meme
FEB. 14, 2026 + #jirai
𐙚( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
FEB. 14, 2026 + #makeup #food
UNDERWATER KNEE-HIGH GIRLS
FEB. 11, 2026 + #library
DUEL ART
FEB. 10, 2026 + #yugioh #library
autoerotic asphyxiation
FEB. 6, 2026 + #yugioh
"ha ha", indeed.
FEB. 4, 2026 + #yugioh
i'm perfectly fine !!
FEB. 4, 2026 + #jirai
FEB. 4, 2026 + #jirai #sa
POKII ₊˚⊹♡. ݁
FEB. 3, 2026 + #yugioh
me coded interaction
FEB. 1, 2026 + #yugioh #jirai #mysophobia
fcking hate it when ppl touch my shi
cute
JAN. 31, 2026 + #yugioh
starting the yu✩gi✩oh manga!
JAN. 30, 2026 + #yugioh
SLIFER THE SKY DRAGON オシリスの天空竜
JAN. 28, 2026 + #yugioh #aesthetic
JAN. 28, 2026 + #yugioh
JAN. 28, 2026 + #yugioh
JAN. 21, 2026 + #meme #jirai
JAN. 15, 2026 + #meme #jirai
JAN. 13, 2026 + #yugioh #meme
(╥ ᴗ ╥)
JAN. 12, 2026 + #jirai
JAN. 9, 2026 + #meme #yugioh
₍^. .^₎⟆
JAN. 9, 2026 + #meme #yugioh
JAN. 9, 2026 + #meme #yugioh